Okay, let’s talk about this Pluto conjunct Ascendant thing. It’s not just some abstract idea for me; I actually went through it, lived it. It wasn’t exactly a walk in the park, let me tell you.
First Signs
I first started noticing something was up when interactions with people became… intense. Like, really intense. It wasn’t always bad, but it was never neutral. People either seemed drawn to me in a really strong way, or they recoiled, like I was too much. There was no middle ground anymore. And honestly? It freaked me out a bit.
I felt incredibly exposed, like everyone could see right through me, straight to the messy bits I usually kept hidden. My default reaction was to pull back, try to make myself smaller, less noticeable. Didn’t work. It felt like the more I tried to hide, the brighter the spotlight got.
Figuring It Out
Around that time, I was digging into my own astrology chart, trying to make sense of things. Transits, progressions, the whole deal. And bam, there it was: Pluto, sitting right on top of my Ascendant degree. The timing lined up perfectly with when all this weirdness started.
Seeing it written down didn’t magically fix anything, but it gave me a framework. Okay, so this intense energy, this feeling of being stripped bare, it had a name. It wasn’t just me losing my mind. It was Pluto doing its thing.
What I Did (The Messy Part)
So, hiding wasn’t working. Next plan? Lean into it. Sounds brave, right? It mostly felt terrifying. Here’s kinda what I stumbled through:
- Stopped pretending: I got tired of trying to manage how people saw me. If they saw intensity, fine. If they saw darkness, okay. I started letting more of my real self show, flaws and all.
- Confronted my own shadows: You can’t have Pluto around without dealing with your own buried stuff. Power issues, control freak tendencies, old fears I thought I’d dealt with. They all came bubbling up. Lots of journaling, lots of uncomfortable self-reflection. Sometimes just sitting with the discomfort.
- Changed my appearance: This sounds superficial, but it felt necessary. My old way of presenting myself didn’t fit anymore. It wasn’t drastic, like a total makeover, but I shifted things. Clothes, hair, how I carried myself. It needed to match the internal shift, feel more authentic, more solid.
- Set boundaries differently: With that intensity coming off me, I had to get real clear, real fast, about what was okay and what wasn’t. Learning to say ‘no’ powerfully, without apology, became crucial.
Where I Landed
It wasn’t an overnight thing. This transit lasted a while, and the effects linger. It fundamentally changed how I relate to the world and how the world relates to me. I don’t feel exposed in that raw, vulnerable way anymore. It’s more like… I am what I am. Take it or leave it.
There’s a certain weight or presence now that wasn’t there before. Some people still find it intimidating, I guess. But I’m not afraid of it anymore, not afraid of my own power or the intensity I carry. It feels integrated now, part of my foundation.
Honestly, going through Pluto conjunct the Ascendant was like being reforged. It burned away a lot of superficial crap, forced me to face my deepest self, and ultimately made me more solid, more me. It was tough, seriously tough, but looking back? Necessary. Wouldn’t want to repeat it, but wouldn’t trade the outcome either.
