Alright, let’s talk about this North Node in the 10th house thing. It’s something I’ve spent a lot of time figuring out, living through it, you know? Not just reading about it.
My Starting Point: All About Home Base
For the longest time, I was totally wrapped up in my private life. My family, my home, feeling safe and secure – that was everything. Think South Node in the 4th house vibes. I didn’t really push myself out there. The idea of having a big career or being known for something? Honestly, it kinda scared me. I was comfortable being in the background, taking care of things at home, maybe relying a bit too much on family approval or just staying in that comfort zone. Public roles felt unnatural, like wearing clothes that didn’t fit.
That Little Nudge… Then a Big Shove
Slowly, I started feeling… restless. Like something was missing. I’d see people building things, achieving stuff in their careers, and there was this tiny spark of ‘huh, maybe?’ It wasn’t dramatic at first. Just this quiet dissatisfaction. Then life kinda pushed me. Maybe it was a job situation that forced me to step up, or maybe just realizing I couldn’t keep hiding or defining myself only by my family connections. There was this definite pull towards needing to achieve something for myself, out in the world.
Getting Down to Business: The Actual Work
This is where the real practice came in. It wasn’t easy. It felt super awkward stepping out of that shell. Here’s kinda how it went down for me, step-by-step:
- Taking Responsibility: I consciously started volunteering for tasks at work that had a bit more visibility. Small things at first, stuff I knew I could handle but still made my stomach flip.
- Defining Goals: I actually sat down and thought about what I wanted to achieve professionally. Not what my family thought I should do, or what seemed safest, but what genuinely interested me. It was weirdly difficult.
- Building Structure: I focused on becoming more disciplined with my work, setting clear goals, managing my time better. Less going with the flow, more intentional planning. This felt really unnatural at first.
- Facing the Fear: There was a lot of just… doing it scared. Speaking up in meetings when I normally wouldn’t. Putting my name on projects. Accepting leadership roles even when I felt like an imposter.
- Setting Boundaries: This was tough. Learning to say ‘no’ to family demands sometimes so I could focus on my own path. Reassuring them, but holding my ground that I needed to build my own thing too.
How It Felt (Spoiler: Not Always Great)
Honestly? A lot of the time it felt uncomfortable. Like I was faking it. I stumbled, made mistakes, felt like retreating back to my comfort zone constantly. There were times I definitely overcompensated, maybe became too focused on work or status because it was so new and I didn’t know how to balance it yet. But gradually, very gradually, I started feeling a sense of competence. Like, okay, I can do this. People started seeing me differently too, not just as someone’s kid or partner, but as… me. Someone with their own authority.
Where Things Are Now
It’s still a work in progress, always is. But embracing that 10th house direction – focusing on career, reputation, public contribution, my own authority – has been incredibly rewarding. It’s not about abandoning my roots or my private life (that 4th house stuff is still important!), but about integrating it. Having a solid foundation out there actually makes my home life feel more balanced, less needy. I feel more like a whole person. Building something tangible in the world gave me a sense of purpose I didn’t have when I was just focused inward.
So yeah, that’s my journey with it. Lots of trial and error, pushing through discomfort, and slowly building something piece by piece out in the public sphere. It’s where the growth was, for sure.
