Alright, let’s talk about this North Node in the 4th house thing. It wasn’t something I looked for, honestly. For years, maybe decades, I was all about work. Climb the ladder, get the title, make the money. That felt like the point, right? My whole life was geared towards what people saw, the reputation I built outside my own four walls. Home was just… a place to crash, recharge, and get back out there.
I remember feeling kinda hollow sometimes, though. Like I was building this big impressive thing out there, but the foundation was shaky. Didn’t pay it much mind, just pushed harder at work. If I felt insecure, I figured another achievement would fix it. Spoiler: it didn’t.
Finding Out and Feeling Lost
Then things kinda shifted. Maybe it was getting older, maybe life just smacked me upside the head a bit. I stumbled across astrology, not really taking it seriously at first. But this North Node placement… 4th house… it kept popping up. Someone mentioned it meant my ‘destiny’ or ‘growth path’ was about home, family, roots, emotional security. My first reaction? Seriously? That sounds boring. And weak.
My comfort zone was the 10th house stuff – career, public image. That’s where I knew how to operate. This 4th house business felt alien. Like being asked to learn a new language I had no interest in speaking. For a while, I just ignored it. Doubled down on work, tried to prove that my old way was just fine.
The Actual Trying Part
But that hollow feeling didn’t go away. And weirdly, things started happening that forced me to deal with home stuff. Maybe it was a family issue that needed my attention, or a problem with my actual living situation. It felt like life was constantly redirecting me back inside, literally and figuratively.
So, I started trying. Tentatively. Here’s what that looked like for me, practically speaking:
- Making a real home: I actually started decorating. Not just functional furniture, but things that felt like me. Spent weekends painting walls, choosing rugs. Sounds silly, but it was a big step. It felt weirdly self-indulgent at first.
- Dealing with family baggage: This was the hard part. Really looking at my upbringing, my relationship with my parents, the patterns I learned. It wasn’t about blaming, but understanding where my own insecurities came from. Lots of uncomfortable conversations, sometimes just sitting with uncomfortable feelings.
- Setting boundaries: Learning to say ‘no’ to extra work projects that would keep me away from home or drain my emotional energy. Prioritizing quiet time, family time. This felt like career suicide initially.
- Connecting with roots: I even started looking into my family history a bit. Understanding where I came from gave me a weird sense of belonging I hadn’t expected.
What Changed (and is Still Changing)
It wasn’t overnight. It was messy. Sometimes I swung back hard into workaholism. Sometimes dealing with family stuff felt overwhelming. But slowly, things started to click.
Here’s the kicker: Building that inner foundation, that secure home base, didn’t make me weaker. It actually made me stronger. I became less dependent on external validation from my job because I was building my own internal sense of security.
My definition of success started shifting. It wasn’t just about the title anymore. It became about feeling peaceful in my own space, having meaningful connections with the people closest to me, feeling grounded.
Work didn’t disappear, but its grip loosened. Funnily enough, when I wasn’t desperately chasing approval at work, I actually felt more confident and capable there too. It’s like tending to the roots helped the whole tree grow stronger, not just the branches.
It’s still a process, you know? The 10th house pull is always there, it’s familiar territory. But now I recognize the call of the 4th house. It’s not a chore anymore, it feels like coming home to myself. It’s about building something private and real that nourishes me from the inside out. And yeah, it turns out that’s not boring at all. It’s essential.
