Okay, so I’ve been diving deep into astrology lately, and one placement that really caught my eye was Chiron in the first house. It’s supposed to represent your core wound and how it shapes your identity, so, you know, heavy stuff. I decided I needed to understand this better, so I started digging into my own chart.
My Chiron Deep Dive
First, I pulled up my birth chart on one of those free online calculators. Yep, there it was: Chiron smack-dab in my first house. I’ve always felt this… I dunno… fundamental sense of inadequacy, like I’m just not enough. It manifests as this constant need to prove myself, to be seen as competent and worthy. Classic first house stuff – it’s all about how you present yourself to the world, your self-image.
Then I started journaling. Every time I felt that familiar pang of “not good enough,” I wrote it down. Where was I? Who was I with? What was the trigger? It was kinda brutal, honestly. So many instances of me overcompensating, trying too hard, or shrinking myself to avoid judgment. Like, seriously, so many.
- That time I volunteered to lead a project at work, even though I was already swamped? Chiron.
- That awkward attempt to be “cool” at a party, which totally backfired? Chiron.
- The countless hours spent scrolling through social media, feeling like everyone else had it figured out? Yep,Chiron again.
Next I tried some affirmations. You know, the whole “I am worthy, I am enough” thing. It felt super cheesy at first, and honestly, it still kinda does. But I figured, what the heck, I’ll give it a shot. I stuck a Post-it note on my mirror and forced myself to say it every morning. Did it magically erase years of ingrained self-doubt? Nope. But it did feel like… planting a tiny seed. A little bit of self-compassion starting to sprout.
I also started paying attention to my body. Where did I feel this “wound” physically? Turns out, it’s this tightness in my chest, this almost constant state of low-level anxiety. So I started doing some gentle yoga, focusing on opening up my chest and shoulders. It’s still a work in progress, but it’s helping me connect with the physical manifestation of this emotional stuff.
The really, really hard, work. Is to just, try to accept it.
I realized that avoiding situations that trigger my Chiron wound wasn’t helping. It was like trying to avoid my own shadow. So, I’m making a conscious effort to lean into those uncomfortable moments. To show up authentically, even when I feel vulnerable. To let myself be seen, flaws and all.
It is still working in progress…But I’m getting there, slowly but surely.
