Okay, so I’ve been diving deep into astrology lately, and Chiron’s placement in my chart really got me thinking. It’s in the 12th house, which, from what I gathered, is all about hidden wounds, subconscious stuff, and maybe even past lives. It’s the house of undoing, you know?
So, I started by just reading everything I could find about Chiron in the 12th. Books, websites, forums – you name it, I was on it. I wanted to understand the general themes associated with this placement. A lot of it talked about hidden pain, feeling isolated, and struggling with self-sabotage. Sounded… fun.
Getting Personal
Then, I moved on to journaling. I figured the best way to understand how this was playing out in my life was to get really honest with myself. I started asking myself tough questions:
- Where do I feel most wounded?
- What are my hidden fears?
- When do I feel most alone or isolated?
- Do I tend to self sabotage? How and Why?
Answering these wasn’t a one-time thing. I kept coming back to these questions, adding new thoughts and observations as they popped up. Sometimes it was uncomfortable, sometimes it was like a lightbulb going off. “Oh, that’s why I always do that!”
I also started paying attention to my dreams. The 12th house is linked to the subconscious, and dreams are like a direct line to that, right? I began keeping a dream journal right by my bed. I would jot down anything I could remember as soon as I woke up, even if it was just fragments or feelings. It was weird at first, and half the time it didn’t make sense, but I persisted.
I discovered, by doing that, some recurring themes in my dreams. It was about being lost, or being unable to speak, or feeling trapped. I started to connect these themes to those feelings of isolation and hidden wounds that kept coming up in my reading about Chiron in the 12th.
Meditation & Reflection
Then I added meditation to the mix. I’m not a super experienced meditator, but I found some guided meditations specifically for connecting with your inner child or healing past wounds. I figured it couldn’t hurt to try. I would do these a few times a week, just trying to create a quiet space to listen to what my inner self was trying to tell me.
It was… interesting. Sometimes I felt a lot of sadness, sometimes I felt nothing at all. But over time, I started to notice a shift. It was subtle, but I felt like I was becoming more aware of my own patterns, my own triggers.
It’s still a work in progress, obviously. This isn’t the kind of thing you “solve” overnight. But by actively exploring these different avenues – research, journaling, dream analysis, and meditation – I feel like I’m making headway. I’m starting to understand the “why” behind some of my behaviors and feelings, and that, in itself, feels like a step towards healing.
